First Crush
by KageOni1
Summary: When trapped in Spiro tower, Artemis' plan is improvised by a mysterious charachter known as Kitty. part three of the three chapter story.
1. First Crush

First Crush

Just as a reminder: With the exception of Kitty, these characters don't belong to me. However, I am allowed to make an alternate reality, where anything can happen...

**Spiro Tower**

Inside, Artemis was held captive. He had just come in and was about to talk on the secret microphone placed at his throat by Holly earlier this evening. Before he could even say a word, the door opened, and Arno threw open the door, saying: "Damn you, Kitty, Spiro told you time and time again to go with the experiments!" While doing so, he pushed a girl into the room. Very sullenly he slammed the door shut. Artemis was wondering what was going on, so he went to the door to take a look. The girl Kitty seemed strange. It wasn't her clothes, for they were like what any American kid would wear, but that she had bobcat ears and _a tail_. The tail was twitching madly, while Kitty was banging on the door exclaiming, "I am NOT about to let those imbeciles you call experts cut off part of my TAIL!"

"_What a very strange girl._" Artemis thought. _"This might interfere with the plan. Drat! Well, let's see if we can improvise." _Walking quickly, he came up behind the girl, but before he could even speak the largest Tiger he ever saw knocked him on his back with the tiger's paw on his chest.

"_Who are **you** and what are you doing in my room_?" the tiger said. No, wait, _thought_! Deciding to answer its question, Artemis said, "Well, I am Artemis Fowl. Where did Kitty go? I was only trying to talk to the girl when you came out of nowhere."

"_I am Kitty, just in a different shape. The only reason you can hear my thoughts is because that is really how animals communicate._" Replied Kitty, "_But why are you in my room, I mean, regular jail cell?_"

"Well, I am being held captive because of my C Cube. By the way, have you seen a blue cube anywhere????"

"_No, but that would explain why Spiro is cursing a lot more than usual. And why I'm only sent to the lab once a week._"

"_Great, just great, now I really need to rethink the whole plan. Well, maybe I can use her to her advantage." _Artemis thought.

"_What's with your throat? It's got this weird patch_." Kitty asked. Slapping him-self on the forehead, which he hasn't done since he was three, Artemis decided to ask why.

"How can you see this? It's supposed to be unseen by human eyes." Replied Artemis, "NO, wait, let me guess: your eyes are like a cat's night vision, except during the day, and since cats have better sight than us, you can see the very small difference between the colors of both my skin and the patch."

"Well, yeah, that pretty much explains it. But you still haven't answered my question: What does that patch do? You hardly look like as if you don't want people to notice a bandage on the neck." Replied Kitty, now in her human form, just with a tiger's ears and tail.

"_What should I do? Maybe I should just lie to her about this. No need to make this anymore complicated than this."_ Artemis thought, "_But what would Holly do about this?"_

**Outside the Spiro Tower**

"D'Arvit," Holly silently swore, "This wasn't part of the plan. There wasn't supposed to be a girl here. Wait a second; I think I recognize the girl. Foaly, are you online?"

"As usual," replied the centaur, "The girl seems to be human, but it's almost like as if she was from some of the freaky experiments that one warlock Straum did."

"Wait a minute, who is Straum? And what does that have to do with this girl?" Butler asked.

"About fourteen years ago, a crazy warlock was found dead in his lab, with what you mud-men call freaks. Apparently, he was doing very cruel experiments where he abducted newborn babies from hospitals overnight to turn them into freaks, like snake boys and, this case, shape shifters. The Elephant Man is a good example of one of his early experiments." Holly explained. 

"Yeah, but what does it have to do with this Kitty girl?" Juliet asked

"Well," Foaly cut in, "when we found out who was doing this, we went to Straum's lab to arrest him, but to our surprise we found him mauled to death. After Straum was killed, there was a mud-girl, just sitting next to him. She was returned safely, but with a tigers ears and tail. We kept tags on her, but so far she was able to keep to herself, especially after running away from the freak circus her parents dropped her off at. Apparently she was found by Spiro for experiments on Feline translators."

"So this girl can change into felines. What are we going to do about the plan?" Juliet asked.

"After I tell you this, you must stick with this plan." Artemis' voice said on the speaker.

"I guess we must stick with the new plan." Holly replied.

Back At The Tower 

"Now remember Kitty," Artemis whispered, "You must stick with this plan as well as you can. This patch is a microscanner that helps us find a way to get my cube back _and_ humiliate Spiro. I must be very careful about this because if this patch is found, we will soon perish. That will probably include you too because you are in the same room as me. Now, the main thing is..." And so on he went, telling Kitty (And the L.E.P. for that matter) what the new plan was. Kitty just listened carefully, until she came to understand what she had to do.

"Now, do you understand what needs to be done?" Artemis asked.

"Yes, I do." Replied Kitty.

"Good. Then later I will let you know when we carry out the plan."

"One question: does this have anything to do with-I think the name is called- L.E.P.recon?"

"...How do you know about the L.E.P.? You aren't a fairy are you?"

"No, I just remember from when I was about one. All I remember is being a tiger for the first time and stopping a man from I think changing me completely into a feline. Later these very short people came and I remember hearing them saying 'Open up, L.E.P.recon.' then when they came in they all started gasping and saying 'Oh, My Gawd' and things like that. Later I was put back in my room. Apparently I was only there for one night." Kitty looked sad, as if she wished she stayed there in the lab.

"Well," Artemis said quickly, "we had better get some rest for tonight. Where do you usually sleep?"

But when he turned to see her, she was already fast asleep on the floor in a snow tiger form.

"_She looks so peaceful. And she is actually quite smart... for an American, anyway._" Artemis couldn't help thinking.

_"Especially for a girl that never really went to school. I was "adopted" to this freak circus in New Orleans, until I ran away and was captured by Arno Blunt."_ Kitty thought sleepily.

**Spiro's office**

**"**Arno, you fake shark!You were supposed to move Kitty to a different apartment when Artemis got here! Now he has a chance to get out of here with the C Cube!" Spiro had to bite through the unlit cigar to keep from banging the table with his frail fist.

"Sorry boss, it's just that when Kitty decided to bite my hand, I forgot about the new apartment and just put her in her old one. You try having YOUR hand bitten by a Sabertooth Tiger and keeping your head straight!" Showing his hand for evidence, Arno held up a heavily bandaged hand. "The doctor here said I was lucky that the fangs missed the artery on my wrist, so the bandages can come off by tonight for our little business arrangement..."

"Yes, yes. I still say Artemis will still somehow get to my vault tonight. If he does, I have quite the surprise for him." Looking at the surveillance, he then buzzed for Pex and Chips. "Pex, Chips, I have a job for you. There is a black van that's been circling our tower. Look inside, scare whatever is in the van, and then come back in."

Sitting back in his chair, he started stroking the C Cube in front of Arno. "Don't worry, after tonight, I won't need anyone, not even those dumb scientists, except you." Spiro whispered.

"Sir?" Said Arno.

Surprised, Spiro said, "What?"

"You're talking to inanimate objects again."

"So?"

"...I thought the doctor said to quit doing that."

"Well, this is an important reason to do so."

"Okay, boss."

_"What a nut."_ Arno thought.

**In the Elevator**

Pex and Chips were once again pondering why we breathe. Apparently they are trying to see if they could live without breathing by holding their breath. After being blue-faced for about thirty seconds, Pex said to Chips, "So what are you going to do with the money of this next job?"

Chips said, "I don't know, maybe buy more Barney DVDs."

"Same here. Hey, now that we have gotten rid of Mo, how much more do you think we would have???"

After counting on their fingers for a while, they both looked at each other and said together: "A lot of cash."

Outside the Tower 

Juliet was all fidgety again. She never really could stand still like her brother. She knew that this was something that was required a lot of standing still, but she still couldn't get used to this. She was also fidgety because she needed to think about what will happen after this. She knew that even after her lessons with Madame Ko, she could never be behind the shoulder of some important official. Except Artemis maybe. But Artemis said that this would be the last job. Then she noticed the two goons.

"Holly, we have two big and hairy trolls coming up. I'm going to have to knock them out."

"Okay," replied Holly, "But remember to NOT mark them."

"Fine."

Stepping into a black sweatshirt, she put the jade ring in her ponytail.

**Outside The Van**

Pex and Chips were outside, about to bang on the van, but suddenly the door opened and Juliet looked around in a confused way. "Is there, like, something wrong?"Juliet asked in her best teenage MTV voice.

"What are you doing here?" Asked Pex.

"Just getting my old man some sushi, but I didn't really hear him, especially since he's always spacing out physically _and _mentally."

Pex and Chips just stared. What is with this girl? She kept saying big words like Spacing and mentally. Getting impatient, Chips just grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and asked, "Is there anyone else in the van, or are you alone?"

The girl shook her head.

Chips flexed his digits. Juliet gasped. "So how many people are in your family?" Pex asked in his slow monotone.

"Six, including me. Dad, Two great-uncles, and the twins Kayla and Shayla. They went out for escargot. Really into the French cuisine and all." Juliet said quickly.

Pex looked like as if he was thinking. "Okay kid, open the van."

"Escargot?" Pex wondered aloud, "Isn't that, like, Snails?"

"Yeah, except I had fried."

"How was it?"

"Well, it was okay until I added the salt. Then it tasted all mushy."

Annoyed, Juliet slammed the door open while Pex and Chips. That was the mistake then and there. The girl fell forward onto her knees, then snapped her foot back until her foot connected with Pex's Solar Plexus.

"Aw, my bad." Said Juliet, straightening.

Chips was, and not for the first time I might add, stunned. "What did you do to him?"

"This." Juliet replied, while doing a pirouette. The ring in her hair swung around, and hit Chips right between the eyes. Chips fell like a sack of potatoes. Behind Juliet, Pex was still gasping.

"Hey," Said Juliet, kneeling beside Pex, "You know what?"

"what?" gasped Pex.

"Escargot tastes better soaked in butter." Juliet said nonchalantly as she pressed the nerve in Pex's neck. Unconsciousness was quick. Moments later, mulch was shuffling back, pausing to look at Pex and chips.

"So, what'd I miss?"


	2. The Frenzy

**Part Two**

**A/N: **Okay, this is ridiculous.One month and only one review-thank you Frodomegan.

-.-;;. Anyway, please no flames, and hope you like this. Juliet had just conked Pex and Chips, and Artemis has recreated the plan…

Inside, Artemis was cankering away at his thoughtsThis was the last job, like he had thought over the past few times, but what about Kitty? Should she be adopted into his family, or should he go back on his word and leave her here? _If anything, she should at least become adopted to Dom-I mean, Butler's family, so that she could be a great bodyguard and become quite a challenge for Madame Ko, _Artemis thought ruefully.

_Hey there, aren't you supposed to be getting some sleep? _thought Kitty, still in her feline form,_ It's going to be awful hard for you to help us escape without enough sleep. _

"Soon, Kitty, soon." Artemis whispered. With that, there was a slight tapping.

Holly was here.

**In The Van**

Juliet was once again huffy. Just because she knocked out two blobs in plain sight really shouldn't mean anything to that _fairy_ Holly. Besides, she _was_ supposed to keep them out of sight. Sighing, she turned towards Mulch.

"Are you done putting enough sunscreen on yet? Light isn't for another five hours." She said disdainfully.

"Yes, and once you are done sitting on your mud butt we can go. Remember, the big thing is to disable the security system _and_ since the oxygen tanks are computerized, to short them out long enough for Arty boy to get the cube and get out." Mulch said through a mouthful of beetles he was snacking on.

"Good, because we need to get going now."

"…Fine. Oh, and by the way, all we have to do is just walk in if all goes well. Holly should have had every room except those needed for this. However, the video is still on, so you should disable security and so on."

"Why can't you just bite through the cables?" Juliet asked huffily.

"Think with your mud brain for once! I would be electrocuted, and that would be it! Now get going!"

Sighing, Juliet went into the room. The guards were asleep, and there weren't any updates for Spiro on his stock in Wall Street. Holly had given, with the secret help of Foaly, a mass _mesmer_ to everyone except Kitty and Artemis. So Juliet strode to the security booth in the middle of the floor. When she got to the booth, she stood next to the tubby security guard and pushed a red button clearly marked SECURITY SYSTEM SHUTOFF. For the top-ranked security in this place, it was easy to shut off. Juliet gave a satisfied "hmph!" and walked away.

"How's that for easy?"

**Inside the tower**

After searing a three-foot hole in the wall and setting it up with a hologram, Holly turned around and looked around.

"So where's this Kitty girl you keep talking about Fowl?" Holly asked, scowling.

_Here I am, you stupid fairy! How can you NOT notice a snow tiger when you see one? _Kitty had asked, getting ready to pounce.

"Now, now, Kitty, Holly is here to help, and she couldn't get us out of here if you pulled a Roy out here. Besides, she probably doesn't know what a snow tiger looks like." Artemis said calmly.

"So what's the next step Fowl?" Holly asked.

"Simple: you get us out of here, we grab the cube, and we sneak out of here."

"Hey! What can I do?" Kitty interjected.

"You can help us by making sure nobody tries sneaking up on us. Holly, are you sure you did a complete _mesmer_ everywhere?" Artemis asked.

"Yes, I'm sure, and if Juliet turned off the video, all we need to do is walk through everything, and not even do all of that stupid, obsolete circuitry you call security to get into the vault." Holly said, sounding very bored.

"Well, I would still do that security stuff, _fairy_, because what if your magic doesn't really work? I mean, Spiro has a contest every year as to who can crack open his safe, and nobody wins." Kitty interjected.

"Okay, fine _Girl_, but remember my name's **Holly** not fairy." Holly said, like as if she was jealous somehow.

So after Holly again blasted away the door, they walked to Spiro's bedroom. When they came there, everything was white. Everything from the floors to the bed spread was white. Just to poke fun, Kitty turned into a white kitten and blended perfectly into the walls.

_Can you guys see me?_ Kitty thought laughingly, _Spiro always thought of going to a hospital soon._

"Well, there's Spiro. Here, Fowl, open his eyes please." Holly said.

_Wait, this man smells differently. Be careful._ Kitty warned.

"Okay, Kitty. Will do." Artemis said softly.

After taking the retina scan, they decided to have Kitty bite off the man's thumb for the fingerprint scan. With surgical precision,Kitty opened her mouth and suddenly grew fangs too sharp and big for a small kitten. When she bit down, she turned her head and spit out the thumb quickly.

_Bleah! That's Spiro all right! He always forgets to wash his hands._ Kitty thought disgustedly.

"It's okay Kitty. Probably the last time you'll ever have to do this." Artemis said _soothingly_?

Holly looked at them with flames in her eyes this time.

"Okay you two, let's go. We only have four more hours." Holly said quickly.

**Inside the Van**

Everything else was going smoothly. Juliet had just been E-mailed what was needed for Spiro to go down. While she was walking away, she noticed that security also had video feed on when this Kitty girl was experimented on. So she copied all of that on disk and sent it to the van. Mulch was looking over her shoulder and whistled.

"Man, even I wouldn't do that to her." Mulch said sadly.

"Well, if Spiro does live past this night, this'll bring his company crashing down around his ears. All I have to do is E-mail this to the CNN or ABC." Juliet said triumphantly, "And they'll go on from there."

With that, she clicked the SEND button.

"Okay, let's just wait for the team to come by." Mulch said sleepily.

**Back at the Tower**

They had come to the Vault room, and already they were in a slump. The voice, retina, and thumb scan went well, but it wouldn't open. Then Kitty had an idea.

_Artemis, hold the thumb there, but step aside. _Kitty thought, changing into a starved puma and stepped onto the square. The mass she created was the exact same as Spiro's mass. The Vault beeped and opened. Inside, the two Guards were sleeping because of the _mesmer_. Kitty padded in, sniffed, and gave the all clear. Artemis walked in, while Holly turned and walked back to Spiro's room to reattach his thumb.

"Well, Kitty, this all about to be over. But there's one thing left to do." Artemis said, coming close to Kitty.

"What?" Kitty asked.

"This." And leaning in, he kissed her. That kiss felt good to Kitty. All thoughts about her past and fears about the future faded. All there was is the here and now. For all she knew, she would be safe. She stood back, cleared her throat, and said "Um, the cube?"

"Yeah, let's get that." Artemis said softly. Reaching in, his hand closed around the cube, when his communicator blared.

"ARTEMIS, KITTY, GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! IT'S A TRAP!" Holly roared. Too late, the wall hissed back, and stood Spiro and Arno.

"Aw, Kitty, did we ruin your fun?" Spiro said cutely, "You guys looked so cute, you sickened me. Well, Arno, that's next years salary you owe me. I was right. Artemis did come by somehow. And Kitty, don't look so angry. You know these walls can't really show my smell." Arno then just laughed with Spiro.

Kitty didn't look too happy. From her Amber Cats eyes, you see she wasn't too happy about the fact that her world was coming back to reality. Suddenly, she just quietly walked up to Artemis.

"Artemis, did you hear of the story of the Siegfried and Roy incident? Apparently, in one of their famous magic shows, Roy bopped a Snow Tiger on the nose, and it lunged at Roy's neck. Luckily, the cat's mouth missed the Carotid artery by about a millimeter, and he lived. But that tiger and I are different. I never miss." And suddenly, Kitty changes into a tiger and leaps at Blunt and bites into his neck.

"Arrgh! You bitch! Arno still owes me money!" Spiro yelled as Arno was shredded before his eyes. But Kitty couldn't hear him. Her primal instinct took over. She was all tiger, and it felt so good to feed on the person who caused her so much pain. Who threatened to put her to sleep permanently. Who laughed at every cry she made during her testing at the lab. She then turned toward Spiro.

"Kitty, no! Remember, do what you want, but don't kill Spiro! He's way too good for that!" Artemis yelled, looking pained. Kitty looked at him, then just bit Spiro's arm, not enough to kill him, but enough to never use it again. Then, satisfied, turned into a kitten and rested on Artemis' shoulder.

"By the way, Spiro. You are right about my name. I am named after a huntress. She was able to control animals and create them at her will. And, unwittingly, I had created an animal, and we have hunted you. Goodbye." And then, Artemis pushed the nerve on Spiro's neck that put him out.

"Let's Go, Kitty. We have memories to erase." Artemis said, petting Kitty's head.

_A/N: Okay! Second Chapter I done! Once again, please review. I'll see about the next chapter, where it all wraps up._


	3. The Finale

The Finale

A/N: Okay, Turkey Day is over, and not only is this the last chappie; it may be my last Artemis Fowl fanfic. I would like to thank Frodomegan and eBooeBoo2 for giving me their reviews, and I noticed that I had accidentally disabled the anonymous review toggle, so now I realize why I only had two reviews.-.-;;. N.E. way, here we are. Artemis and Kitty left to the manor safely without getting caught…

**At the Fowl Manor**

"But we had a deal that we would mind-wipe you!"

They were at it again. Juliet was still putting up a fighting chance to not being mind-wiped. Everyone else, including Kitty, was sitting quietly in their chairs, ready to be mind-wiped. Of course, Artemis already had gone through with planting all of the things that would bring back his memory, which included giving himself a drug that had made him forget the last half hour so that he couldn't be _mesmer_ed into telling his secret.

"I don't care! I have at least two years of memories here of you guys, and all you are thinking about is yourselves. For all I know, I'll be as dumb as Pex and Chips when you're through! I need some comfort in this!" With that, Juliet made a rude hand gesture at both the mind-wipe specialists and the screen with Root on it. His face wasn't very red. Yet.

"Listen, the specialists can fill your memories of those two years. Artemis' Mom had tried a new treatment of hypnosis, your dad was found in a recon mission by the INTERPOL, and Spiro had tampered with your money and Kitty was a person you wanted to help. For all you know, Spiro is awaiting trial for cruel and unusual punishment, inhumane lab procedures, or both depending on how you take it. Either way, you will still have that intellect of yours, mud girl." Holly amended.

"Okay, Holly, but remember: when you are finished, I will be the same, cold-hearted person I was two years ago. And, I will forget you, leaving me with Kitty here. Do you really want that?" Artemis asked, using his final trump card. Holly's lip quivered, but she finally said in a withdrawn voice:

"No. But rules are rules. Goodbye Artemis." And gave him a goodbye kiss. Kitty wasn't too perturbed, because she knew that Artemis was kissing an old hag by human standards, and he wouldn't remember it anyway. She was the one who cleared her throat and asked, "Can we get this going? We have a humanitarian case we need to finish."

Holly pulled away and started the machine. The workers took it from there. She started home, crying all the way, because she knew that even she would pick Kitty if it was between the two. After about two minutes of flying, she readied herself for some rest and the next recon mission she would have. Along the way, she passed by the Alps, just as one last prank to be remembered by.

Foaly turned away from the screen. He knew that now was not the time to ask Holly out. Besides, he had some monitoring to do. For all he knew, Artemis would have planted an E-mail after the six months. He sighed. Foaly had an idea that the task wasn't going to be easy.

_From Artemis' encrypted journal, August 2nd, 2004 _

_It's indeed strange for me to write a journal, but for every great mind, what else is there for me? My Dad came back and now both my parents have approved of Kitty being my bodyguard-and girlfriend, although I won't bring that up anytime soon. Kitty has made an ideal bodyguard, since Madame Ko had been so impressed with her skills; she tattooed two blue diamonds on her shoulder. This is good because most people are off-guard when they see an adolescent with a cat on their lap. It's also good because Butler doesn't seem to be able to keep up with anything. He'll probably become my personal cook at the worst. Juliet has decided to wrestle as the Jade Princess and I bid her good luck. School starts soon and I'll just smuggle Kitty there since they don't have a "No Pets Allowed" rule. _

_Yet the strangest thing happened to me, just after Kitty won her humanitarian trial. I was getting up from bed, washing my face, when I felt something peel off. It looked like one of those custom-latex bandages, but I noticed that it had an electric current. Furthermore, Juliet noticed that she had a contact in her eye, rusted with corrosion, when she doesn't need contacts. This is indeed strange. But I don't think it's a problem. Besides, I may be an evil mastermind, but like I said, Kitty is the best there is. _

_By the way, I forgot to mention something: Now that Kitty is a bodyguard, she could find her true parents. As it turns out, in New Orleans her parents are still living there today. As cold as it is, she's awaiting trial to sue them for child neglect. I know that she'll win, especially with the best lawyers in the world. _

_Kitty has just come in. We are staying at the best hotel in India, taking a look at some of her "other half of the family." I'm still getting used to not drinking water here because of the water sanitation problems. Oh well. _

_My parents are still bugging me to keep straight and pure, but I'm still a criminal mastermind, and Kitty herself feels that it's more her style to be a cat burglar, pardon the pun. So she gave me a great idea: we steal the world's riches, bank accounts, and so on. However, to keep my parents off my back, we anonymously give the money to charities like Greenpeace and such. It'll look like as if we're doing the world a favor, sort of like a high-tech Robin Hood, except we keep about 60 of what we steal. This is probably one of the most diabolical plans yet. With Kitty by my side, there isn't anything that can't go wrong. _

Artemis looks back at his journal, and as he is reading he hears a soft knock at the door.

"Room service." A girl with an Indian accent calls. Artemis closes the journal and says "Come in."

Kitty strides in, with a robe on, while carrying some massaging oils and such.

"I heard you needed a masseuse. Take off your shirt and lie on your back please." Kitty said coyly.

"Fine, but I would expect a high-class massage from a half-cat." Artemis said, kissing her on the neck while following her instructions. Kitty slips off her robe, and says "Oh, you're gonna get more than that tonight."


End file.
